Uni can really feel quite sh*t sometimes! Like, how about giving us more technical learning?? Everything also learn myself! No mentoring from the tutors!! Seriously. Especially in third year. I tell you... The technical learning here is really not full-on lor. It feels like Uni alright. It doesn't feel like a full-on cinematography/camerawork course.

We do everything ourselves! I've done like producing, editing and blah. It's great to learn about all roles. But when it comes to make equipment decisions, I really am lost! What the hell..

Up to now, nobody will (or maybe even, nobody should) give me a proper shooting role in a film because my learning has been so varied and not in-depth enough. I really don't have the credentials yet, even if I'm glad that every project I've done has really been dependent on me. It's really purely independent, low-budget student filmmaking. I have nothing else to count on whatsoever.

It'll be nice to get some real credentials and structured camera training. But after this, I don't suppose I'll go professional at all. What will happen to this production 'dream'. It's really not easy to be a 'fixture' in production. How can I keep taking on the same role in every production. Who makes available such a role every now and then. Seriously don't know how I can get into production. May depend on who I can get to meet.

And I'm no producer. So I have nothing that I can do left larh. Girl should go and be editor or producer, or just maybe, director? Don't know whether I can become any of that, or if starting from writing and meeting people through that is going to suit me as a starting point.