I don't really like it when people indulge in their idea of art too much. Yes, it looks good. To me even, I admire that it looks good. But I'm wary about identifying someone as an auteur just because he/she has a clear idea what he/she wants and likes.

I never could get round to making a film about what I have always wanted. I don't know. Is it just me. Is it just because everybody's background is different, hence we all end up wanting all these different things. I want understanding too. So why don't I get round to making a film in order to be understood. No. Would I do that. Perhaps to me, a film is not a platform for expressing all the individual experiences of mine. I can't do it like I'm writing a diary. I won't do it that way. I'd rather keep writing my diary. Things keep changing. And I can't keep making films just to keep up. As I said, for the moment, I'd rather write. I don't want to throw myself into doing a film because another film will probably develop in my mind in the midst of it. Haha.

My experiences. So far, they're just not enough. I have a lot of feeling for being in this world. I keep all my senses keen all the time. And it just isn't enough yet even for film to capture all the little experiences I'm going through. Could it be that I'm not experiencing enough. Hopefully not. I definitely have my own stories. I definitely have people I care about, and am thankful for, and they are the ones I count on to be with me. I 'leech off' these people. They satisfy my need to feel like this is my life; they are part of my life. Like Julia Roberts mentions in the trailer for Eat Pray Love, such people and things give us our "appetite for life".

Right now, even film is not enough for me. Heck, I don't even have the resources to do a proper film. But right now, even film is not enough. I'll just keep writing. Maybe I won't ever need to actually do it? I'd be happy to just get my foot in the door, of course. If people will come along and teach me, I'd willingly learn. But I just don't care much about 'authorship'. So what if a person has a certain individual style and themes? Of course, that is their accomplishment, and I still have a lot to learn from watching their films too. But, I don't know if I particularly care about authorship. Originality to me, means a whole new level altogether.

I am very particular. About things that I've seen. I don't rave about the many things I've seen unless the feeling just grows and grows in me, and I believe that this is truly something quite out of this world, and quite new. If you have your style and if you have your themes, good for you. If the films are pretty, that's very good too. But I don't know what else I can say. It's simply your way of working with the medium. Yes, that is your own individual way. You've established your way of working with the medium, but what else have you added to the medium?

I don't know. I'm a fussy-pok. Lol. I don't know what I'm saying. But I guess, I need to see something that is more than the medium, and more than the message. Yes, more than the medium, and more than the message. If I always know what I'm supposed to see in your films, doesn't the sense of authorship become a little bit dead and dry? Obviously, the idea of authorship is centered on what the auteur thinks and sees, but auteurs in the history of cinema never made the films about themselves and just their lives. They could embody their own vision within the context of a wider vision.

That's all from me tonight! Ciaosu.