I haven't been blogging! Busy watching shows!

Update to my list of to-watch TV Shows:

Supernatural
Prison Break
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Doctor Who
Vampire Diaries
Mad Men
Dexter
Six Feet Under

I'm madly devouring films at the moment!

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I'm starting with packing my books first!

My God. Whenever I flip through notebooks I've filled with research I've done for my student films, I can't tell you exactly how it makes me feel.

It makes me feel good.

I just flipped through the notebook I filled with research on the morgue documentary I did last year. Plus generative thoughts I wrote to myself whenever I got stuck with a problem.

When will be the next time I fill a notebook with research like that. Tell me when.

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And now I've just looked through my emo writings from Year 1, when I first came to Melbourne. Lol. They're just rants basically. The time when I started asking the basic questions of Who am I, Why do I have to socialize with people, Am I changing, What do I do with these thoughts now that I have a mind, What am I doing here, and so on and so forth.

I'm past that now. I don't care about what everybody thinks of me. I only care about what some people think of me. And I know how people and things work. Slightly better than before anyway. And I know what to do with my time, and what to do with myself. Lol. This being called 'Me' - I believe I know it better now. Guess I've developed a slightly better sense of direction now.

I don't know how I made it here. But I did.

:]

Imagine the people who never get past the basic questions. To never understand what one could do, but to be just doing stuff all the time. Don't lead a life under an invisible puppet-master, man.

Now, I think I actually like to turn moments when I am emo into an expression. Because this ability to think and feel, you just have to deal with it once you realize it is there. Does this come with age? When did it all start for me? In 2008, the year I first came to Melbourne? It wasn't easy, but somehow now I know how thoughts and feelings are a pain in the ass (not so dramatic for me as it is in the TV shows though), but you don't just whine about them.

With the passing years, you just realize that you actually have to attach words and actions to your thoughts and feelings. That's when you're not just some dumb kid anymore.

But some of us still cling on to our right to be kids. Yes, it's our right. Why should we be forced to grow up in every single way.

So, to all fellow kids out there, the ones who are now old enough to understand what I'm trying to say here...

Playtime is entering a different level now.

Go make something of yourselves.