Today, I realized that it is difficult to work with people who are too insecure. That may just be the root of all the problems that they cause. Or like, generate due to their insecurity. It just grows.

For once, I can say that I'm bored of sitting in front of the computer!

But it has been a couple of weeks since I have had plenty of time to do that.

All the time I want to sh*t, sleep, eat, read. All the verbs that have one syllable, and soft consonants.

Consonant. I knew I don't forget words I've learnt before that easily. Someway or other, words always find their way back to me.

Well, obviously I left out a very large part of my activity right now. Which is, Watch TV.

I'm sure it doesn't sound like much.

But I'm pretty determined to make whatever I'm thinking about everyday come to some sort of good use.

Even if they only result in words and more words. All but words.

Today, I realized a little something.

That I click to read news on the TNP faster than I would to any article found on Straits Times.

Does my interest generally lead me to articles on TNP?

That doesn't mean that I'm the TNP's regular reader, but perhaps I like to read about the little details.

Perhaps I feel less connected with big worldwide news stories which I don't feel immersed in, because that is not the immediate environment I am in?

Then perhaps today I have learnt that I would prefer to research on local stories than on international ones.

So my name's going on Discovery channel as assistant producer!

I guess, I am happy about that.

But on the other hand, I still feel so very very tired.

Did I quit too early?

Will I ever find a better place to be?

I've been disinterested in things.

Is that how I should be?

Of course not.

Was I less disinterested before?

I think so. I'm a 'keen' girl in a way too. Very accepting. Very keen to take things on.

But what happened to the beat of my heart? Haha corny thing to say

Now I hold back more than I leapt forth. Like I wanted to control myself more than to show myself.

Geez.

I love the movie The Green Hornet!

It totally made me laugh! I like that. Funny superhero movies. They're the best.

Okay, coming off as a fan-girl now. Jay Chou yay. :)

Anyway, I'm just thinking. This blog has been so boring. And un-updated.

I gotta try to write more. Despite always having no time.

I have to try to write more.

Whatever I'm caught up with, whatever I just don't get, whatever I get and am inspired by.

Everything just seems better when I can put it into words.

Dear Lord God, pls just help me to get in touch with myself again!

If I don't, I will find that I have lost my voice.

And I want to believe in my ability to speak out about things.

Tah.

I'd see you in a bit, dear readers of this blog, mostly including yours truly

I did it. I sent an email to end my internship. It is so surreal. They can't point a gun at my head and make me stay right? (Yah who would kill for me? Consequences consequences.) So this time I'm going, I know that I can. How many more times can I say 'no' and just go? But I guess I know now is the time. One more month of ass-busting work!

I miss you, my dear blog.

Ah, dear good God. I'm always tired these days. It's the bloody weather. And perhaps a little more than that. But I shan't rant today.

Why should I quit my job? I can't think of a right, proper reason to quit my job so soon. No, I shouldn't quit my job.

I should attempt to show people that I'm a good worker, and that I'm deserving of more.

Will they have the means to give me more? How much more is a company like that willing to give? Or, is everything just under the influence of the time factor?

I wish I wouldn't be tired. But, I guess these are times in which to press on. One can't always expect to fly. Or run.

I want to keep myself running steady as far as I can. I want to keep myself interested in things.